The Squirrel

I have been trying to capture a squirrel to interrogate about the strange new creatures in my neighborhood. I quickly discovered that while squirrels are very loud and stupid, they compensate for this by being quick and excellent climbers. My initial attempts were unsuccessful. Squirrels seem to be constantly chattering, so are easy to locate, but I had difficulty finding one far enough away from a tree that I could catch it before it climbed to safety.

However on my last walk I saw further evidence that the strange creatures are growing in numbers, I counted no less than five! This being the the case I redoubled my efforts to capture a squirrel. At first I continued to be thwarted by their speed, but finally my luck changed and the squirrels stupidity came into play. Instead of disappearing up a tree, it climbed a stump and I was able to cut off it's escape.

While I couldn't quite reach it, there was nowhere for it to go. I waited for a bit while it fidgeted and angrily chattered at me. When it eventually calmed down and simply sat there staring  I prepared to make my offer of safe passage in exchange for information. It was at this point I realized the fatal flaw in my plan: I DON'T SPEAK SQUIRREL. And of course squirrels are far too mentally challenged to even begin to comprehend dog. Sometimes you don't see the forest for the trees... And my intelligence gathering operation is back to the drawing board.